I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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