I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
