You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
