Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
