And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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