I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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