I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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