OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
