That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Actions speak louder than pants.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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