Me. At least after what I've been through.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the day after is always just damage control
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
