what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
