i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
