i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
