Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
