I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
