Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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