Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
