Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
