he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
