Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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