Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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