She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
