i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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