when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
