I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
