That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize