omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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