she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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