East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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