why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize