YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
