I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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