Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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