Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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