Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
