I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize