the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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