this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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