For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
