All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
