i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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