you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
