I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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