dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize