I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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