oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
