D3 body, D1 cock
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
