What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
