Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
