He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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