haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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