don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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