Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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