I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
