Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
