All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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