Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
