every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
