Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
do herpes really smell.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
